I just feel like i can relate to this a lot. Hope you're having a good life.
F x
Friday, March 28, 2014
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
I hate this feeling.
I hate feeling like i can crumble and fall anytime and even my mum won't there to pick up the pieces.
I hate feeling weak.
I hate that amongst all my physically healthy friends, i'm deemed as the poor little sick girl who finds it hard to even walk a block without catching a breath. And i hate that they're right.
I hate that people don't understand what i go through.
I'm just tired of being sick all the time.
Is it too much to ask for two normal fully functioning legs and have the chance to be a normal 20 year old for once?
I hate feeling like i can crumble and fall anytime and even my mum won't there to pick up the pieces.
I hate feeling weak.
I hate that amongst all my physically healthy friends, i'm deemed as the poor little sick girl who finds it hard to even walk a block without catching a breath. And i hate that they're right.
I hate that people don't understand what i go through.
I'm just tired of being sick all the time.
Is it too much to ask for two normal fully functioning legs and have the chance to be a normal 20 year old for once?
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Subtle Changes
Updating after months. MONTHS. I know i made a promise to myself that i'd update every week atleast, but as one of my best friends conveniently told me that i lie to myself a lot, so i can let this one slip too, right?
Anyway. 2013 was such a blur. Such a crappy blur. I literally have no clue what i even did during the past year. Well i went to college and shit, and made new bffs and all that, but on the way i managed to push away everyone who was interested in me. Why do i do that?! If you're one of those people, i apologize. Profusely. I don't know what gets over me when i think about commitment.
So, happy thoughts. The last 2 days of 2013 were the ones i'll never forget. I went back home. Hoooome. Aamchi Mumbaaaai. Happy face. I met my cousins. I met my best friends. I got shocked cuz of the condition of the roads. I got high for the first time. I did things i never thought i'd have the capability of doing ever. And in just two days.
January 2014 was glorious. My cousin got married. I got all decked up for a change. I actually felt pretty fucking good about myself. I met people. My people. Ate desi khaana. A LOT of desi khaana to be precise. Pani puri (fell ill cuz of it eugh but worth it). Sev puri from bhendi bazaar. Nachos from bombay blue. Shwarma from carters. Dragon chicken from candies. Cupcakes from lsd. You name it. Went to my juhu beach and carters and marine drive and soaked in all the arabian sea i possibly could. Man, i love the sea. I can stare at the waves for hours at a go and not realise it. Maybe i'll talk about my love for water in the next post. Hm.
This trip has affected me a lot more than i'd thought. Made me gain more perspective. Keep in contact with my family and school friends-which i used to feel lazy to do before. Just seeing the energy level of my country made me wanna be a better person. Subtle changes, but changes nonetheless.
And so, January 26th came. Time to get back to my not-so-alien-anymore country. You may not believe this, but the only reason i was looking forward to going back to my house was cuz of the fast wifi. No kidding.
Aaaaand, i'm back home.
Back to square one. Blah.
Hope you're having a good life.
F x
Anyway. 2013 was such a blur. Such a crappy blur. I literally have no clue what i even did during the past year. Well i went to college and shit, and made new bffs and all that, but on the way i managed to push away everyone who was interested in me. Why do i do that?! If you're one of those people, i apologize. Profusely. I don't know what gets over me when i think about commitment.
So, happy thoughts. The last 2 days of 2013 were the ones i'll never forget. I went back home. Hoooome. Aamchi Mumbaaaai. Happy face. I met my cousins. I met my best friends. I got shocked cuz of the condition of the roads. I got high for the first time. I did things i never thought i'd have the capability of doing ever. And in just two days.
January 2014 was glorious. My cousin got married. I got all decked up for a change. I actually felt pretty fucking good about myself. I met people. My people. Ate desi khaana. A LOT of desi khaana to be precise. Pani puri (fell ill cuz of it eugh but worth it). Sev puri from bhendi bazaar. Nachos from bombay blue. Shwarma from carters. Dragon chicken from candies. Cupcakes from lsd. You name it. Went to my juhu beach and carters and marine drive and soaked in all the arabian sea i possibly could. Man, i love the sea. I can stare at the waves for hours at a go and not realise it. Maybe i'll talk about my love for water in the next post. Hm.
This trip has affected me a lot more than i'd thought. Made me gain more perspective. Keep in contact with my family and school friends-which i used to feel lazy to do before. Just seeing the energy level of my country made me wanna be a better person. Subtle changes, but changes nonetheless.
And so, January 26th came. Time to get back to my not-so-alien-anymore country. You may not believe this, but the only reason i was looking forward to going back to my house was cuz of the fast wifi. No kidding.
Aaaaand, i'm back home.
Back to square one. Blah.
Hope you're having a good life.
F x
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